Eating Disorders and Fertility

October 23, 2006

[brenjane]: hi gso
[gso]: hello brenjane how are you?
[gso]: fine thanks
[brenjane]: having troubles sticking to my diet since i found out i had chronic lymphocytic leukemia
[gso]: how are you feelings/
[gso]: hello dragon how are you?
[brenjane]: hi dragonfly
[brenjane]: im very anxious
[dragonfly]: hello
[gso]: bren what have they said about treatment?
[brenjane]: i have been sleeping more than normal
[brenjane]: they do nothing so far it s too early
[gso]: hello jilly how are you/
[brenjane]: they say they just wait
[dragonfly]: hi jilly
[jilly]: i'm good thanks...how are you guys?
[gso]: really,,,,,
[jilly]: really what?
[gso]: is that like a Hotchkins disease?
[gso]: jilly and dragon....brenjane has leukemia and found out last week
[brenjane]: it is found in blood work and thats how they came across it
[brenjane]: white cell were hi
[dragonfly]: wow...sorry bren
[gso]: that is a sure source of stress....so sorry bren
[jilly]: i can't imagine what that was like for you to find that out
[brenjane]: its just a waiting thing and its driving me and my diet nuts
[jilly]: how did you know to check yourself out?
[brenjane]: i have had a few good cries already
[jilly]: sorry-i see now you had a blood test
[dragonfly]: hi mimi
[gso]: you know it is more important than ever to be nutritious and get your antioxidants
[gso]: hello mimi how are you/
[jilly]: do you have a good support system. This is probably when you need family and friends more than ever
[brenjane]: i dont get results for a few wks
[jilly]: just to keep you optimistic
[mimi]: hi gso, hi everybody
[System]: arsc_user_enter~~Crissa~~Author's Suite
[gso]: hello crissa welcome back
[Crissa]: hello everyone!
[jilly]: hi crissa
[dragonfly]: hi crissa
[brenjane]: hi crissa
[mimi]: hi crissa
[Crissa]: hi! how is everybody? I can't stay too much on line but I wanted at least to say HI
[brenjane]: i dont think im handling things well bc i am eating every time i turn around and i am not hungry
[mimi]: brenjane sorry I was late what kinds of test did you have
[brenjane]: blood work
[jilly]: ur eating to make yourself feel what exactly/
[brenjane]: they said my white cell were high
[mimi]: hope things will be ok
[brenjane]: so my md sent me to the oncologists for more tests
[brenjane]: more bloodwork
[gso]: brenjane have you heard of foods with antioxidants
[brenjane]: no
[brenjane]: im pushing away the pain w food i think
[jilly]: transferring the pain!
[brenjane]: when im upset i eat even when i am not hungry
[gso]: green veggies especially the leafy ones.....green tea.....all loaded with antioxidants which help immunity
[gso]: brenjane how did you feel prior?
[brenjane]: i have been feeling tired and my liver has been inflamed for awhile but my md knew that
[brenjane]: now all i want to do is sleep
[dragonfly]: so the oncologist diagnosed you or are doing tests still?
[Crissa]: brenjane, have you read the book? in my case it's helping A LOT
[brenjane]: not yet
[mimi]: did any of the doctors tell you NO SUGAR?
[brenjane]: yea
[brenjane]: more blood work
[jilly]: what does no sugar do?
[gso]: yeah
[brenjane]: im type 2 diabetic i dont eat much sugar
[jilly]: i'm sugar phobic!!!!!!!
[dragonfly]: so you haven't been diagnosed with leukemia but they are running tests?
[mimi]: Doctors have told me a lot of things grow much faster if they have sugar to live on so not to eat any
[brenjane]: i have they call it stage zero
[brenjane]: i have it but its in a do nothing stage
[brenjane]: its making me crazy
[gso]: I bet
[jilly]: what are u supposed to do in the meantime?
[brenjane]: the stress of it caused migraines
[brenjane]: just wait
[jilly]: wait for stage 1 to come??????
[jilly]: that doesn't sound like good professional advice!
[dragonfly]: at least it was caught in the early stages
[brenjane]: its driving me nuts just waiting for the bomb to drop
[brenjane]: yes just waiting for when they can treat
[gso]: there are nutritionists that can help you with your diet....now is a very important time to get your fruits and veggies....
[brenjane]: my friend wants me to come to the city to talk to some one there about it
[jilly]: what goes through your head bren when a doctor tells you your sick like that?
[Crissa]: I'm really sorry but I can't stay anymore...i just wanted to thank gso for the book, it's AMAZING, it's helping me VERY MUCH...i have some questions but I will ask next time! I wish you all health and inner peace and see you next week..goodbye everyone!
[dragonfly]: did they say what type of leukemia?
[brenjane]: bye crissa
[mimi]: bye crissa till next week
[jilly]: bye crissa
[dragonfly]: bye crissa
[gso]: crissa thanks for the vote of confidence...use the e-mail service to ask me specific questions. good night.
[brenjane]: chronic lymphocytic
[Crissa]: ok, thank you, good night!
[jilly]: i clearly need to get this book!
[Crissa]: I bought mine from Amazon
[mimi]: it has sure helped me
[gso]: WOW thank you so much..............it is hard getting the word out there
[mimi]: bren what do you think of going to NYC?
[brenjane]: i am not sure
[Crissa]: DEFINITELY! Jilly!
[gso]: bren Sloan Kettering is the finest hospital on the east coast for oncology
[dragonfly]: gso...did you ever do the segment with benita zahn this summer on the news?
[jilly]: where do u liove bren?
[brenjane]: my ny state
[mimi]: Have you checked out on the computer what hospitals at what locations specialize in that?
[Crissa]: ok, bye bye, take care, talk 2 u next week!
[mimi]: bye again
[brenjane]: it would be a trip to the city
[gso]: dragon it never worked out...not sure why....I probably could have done more for myself.....I am just so busy....clients-patients first (slightly behind my kids of course)
[jilly]: how old r ur kids?
[dragonfly]: that's too bad
[gso]: 9, 5 and 3:-)
[brenjane]: i dont know if i am panic mode or if what i am feeling is normal
[brenjane]: i live in the mtns in ny
[gso]: bren anything goes with a diagnosis like that
[gso]: read...read....read.....knowledge is POWER
[brenjane]: its made me more nervous then normal
[jilly]: so cute!!!!!! Did the weight of the pregnancy cause any stress for you/
[mimi]: Im sure its normal. I just had biopsies last week and till I found out they were benign I ate everything in site
[jilly]: i'm a little scared.....
[brenjane]: im eating everything in site as well
[dragonfly]: i understand that type progresses very slow and usually doesn't require treatment for many years
[gso]: I have patients who have guided their MD's down a road that they questioned
[brenjane]: true
[jilly]: bren-what do u think can help you relax right now?
[mimi]: Bren do you live closer to NYC or Boston?
[jilly]: it sounds like eating everything in sight is not helping but making you more angry
[brenjane]: i haven't figured that out yet and i don't want to derail my progress on jenny craig
[mimi]: jilly that was true for me
[brenjane]: nyc is closer
[jilly]: what was mimi-the pregnancy?
[jilly]: or the eating?
[mimi]: no when I had biopsies I ate everything in site
[jilly]: and did it calm you or u just felt more agitated?
[mimi]: jilly, Im waaaaay too old to be pregnant lol
[brenjane]: its like im sliding into my old bad habits
[gso]: jilly what scared you?
[jilly]: whenever i change my eating habit because of my anxiety-i always feel more anxious
[mimi]: hi dragonfly
[dragonfly]: hey mimi
[jilly]: what scares me is thinking about weight gain during pregnancy
[gso]: are you pregnant jilly?
[jilly]: not yet
[gso]: you are trying?
[dragonfly]: jilly, i thought i would too, but i loved being pregnant
[jilly]: I'm getting married in a few months and we want to try right away but the one thing really stopping me is this huge fear of weight gain
[gso]: dragon can you say more for jilly...please
[mimi]: bren, back to the hospitals Sometimes Boston's hospitals specialize in your specific problem
[dragonfly]: i had a huge fear of gaining weight..
[dragonfly]: and boy i did
[dragonfly]: but it just didn't matter
[mimi]: but the computer can help with that
[brenjane]: i cant put wt back on
[mimi]: finding the right hospital
[dragonfly]: this was much more important
[jilly]: did u gain because u ate more or because of water?
[System]: arsc_user_enter~~dimples~~Author's Suite
[dragonfly]: oh, i ate everything
[jilly]: i feel i can control my eating-I never give into cravings
[jilly]: so i don't worry about eating too much-i just freak out when i gain a pound...i can't imagine gaining 20
[jilly]: bren-I'm sorry-this all seems so unimportant right now
[dragonfly]: you won't once you know you have a baby in there :-)
[brenjane]: my eating is pushing the pain of cancer down and away
[brenjane]: even tho it hasn't really blossomed as yet since it is in early stages
[dragonfly]: i lost the weight really quickly too
[jilly]: did ur body change after?
[dragonfly]: yes
[mimi]: gso, I took my son to detox this weekend
[jilly]: thanks for the honesty!
[dragonfly]: sure
[dragonfly]: how did that go mimi
[gso]: mimi wow was that stressful and or a relief?
[mimi]: hard
[gso]: hello dimples how are you?
[dragonfly]: hi dimples
[brenjane]: good night everyonoe
[mimi]: hi dimples didnt see you there
[dimples]: hi everyone
[jilly]: ur ready to go bren?
[dragonfly]: mimi did he go the same place?
[mimi]: night brenjane know our thoughts are with you
[gso]: good night bren you must be exhausted....please read about your illness
[dragonfly]: night bren
[jilly]: and see if u can connect with other people who
[jilly]: are in the same stage as u
[mimi]: I took him to an er in Albany Dont know how long hell be there, hopefully will get to rehab after detox
[gso]: mimi his recovery is a step in a very long path that he has to follow.....it is a start
[jilly]: it may be helpful to identify with them
[gso]: er why an er?
[jilly]: whats an er?
[jilly]: oh.....e.r!
[mimi]: detox dept. is only open Mon - Fri Took him Sat and they admit to detox thru er
[gso]: oh I see sorry
[mimi]: no it turned out to be good They gave him some exam, one he might not have gotten had he gone right to detox
[dragonfly]: that's a good program mimi
[gso]: mimi watching someone recover can be like a roller coaster.... prepare for the ups and downs......
[gso]: which exam I am jiust curious
[jilly]: gso-why do some people have an episode of psychosis in their early 20s
[mimi]: yes but this is the first time after many years he's ever asked for help
[jilly]: i know so many people right now who have been admitted to hospitals for freaking out with no apparent trigger
[jilly]: what's that about????
[gso]: well, psychosis can be caused by many many factors/.....
[mimi]: er doctor gave him ekg and checked him from head to tow and immediately treated high blood pressure
[gso]: with that age group the first thing you do is a toxicology report.....some people find that they were slipped a hallucinogen when smoking pot
[mimi]: I didnt know people detoxing are candidates for stroke
[jilly]: which can cause like paranoid thoughts and delusions and stuff????
[gso]: sounds very thorough mimi as a mom that must have been a relief
[gso]: ABSOLUTELY!!!!
[mimi]: yes
[jilly]: must be so scary to see someone in that state
[jilly]: is an eating disorder considered a first episode psychosis?
[mimi]: but after he detoxes they have to hope they have an opening in a rehab
[gso]: We have had two clinets within the past month, in their late teens and 20's, who were slipped angle dust in pot OR who smoked shrooms and they are still delusional and hallucinating.......wicked stuff
[jilly]: like it's been a w\hole month???????
[mimi]: wow
[gso]: sometimes the psycho-tropics don't touch the symptoms.....
[jilly]: i know too many people like this right now-i feel like there's a new crisis of the 20 year olds!
[gso]: yes within the past four weeks we have had two clients come through with that very presentation
[jilly]: so is an eating disorder considered a psychosis?
[mimi]: dimples haven't talked to you in weeks how are you?
[dimples]: not too bad thanks mimi
[gso]: typically an ed does not present with psychosis.....however.........ed do occur along with drug addiction and along with mania, both of which can include psychosis
[mimi]: that sounds so much better than last time!!!!!!!!
[gso]: I think we were all worried about you dimples
[gso]: I know I was
[dimples]: thanks for caring
[dimples]: it means a lot to me -
[dragonfly]: ;-)
[mimi]: your welcome
[gso]: you deserve it
[gso]: jilly re weight gain and pregnancy......I can tell you a story someday about a client that I had....
[jilly]: i'd love to hear it gso
[jilly]: do u want to tell now or another time
[gso]: it's is up to other chatters?
[mimi]: ok by me
[dragonfly]: sure
[gso]: well I treated an anorexic in her 30's who had a child born at 1.3 pounds
[jilly]: oh no...i'm scared to hear this!
[gso]: the child was in the hospital for months and was born at 30 weeks gestation....
[dragonfly]: awww
[gso]: the doctors couldn't understand why the mother wasn't gaining weight
[gso]: they treated her for all these medical conditions and tested for everything under the sun....
[jilly]: was she starving herself during the pregnancy?
[gso]: the mother simply was not eating enough....so she went into pre-term labor.
[gso]: yes jilly
[jilly]: wow...i feel like i really need to hear this-i already made a decision to deny myself any fattening food during pregnancy if i crave it
[gso]: now the child is 8 and has many special needs.....learning disabilities.....visual deficiencies......and speech delays
[jilly]: this is so scary.
[jilly]: I would feel terrible
[dragonfly]: i had so many issues trying to have a baby with my ed history
[jilly]: u did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[dragonfly]: yes
[mimi]: did things go ok?
[jilly]: i'm petrified....
[jilly]: what kind of ed did u have dragonfly
[dragonfly]: i had to go on fertility drugs for 2 years and have surgery
[jilly]: my dad keeps telling me i need to eat better to get pregnant and i just don't believe him
[dragonfly]: anorexia
[jilly]: oh no....
[jilly]: how long were u sick for?
[gso]: jilly....please be sure that getting pregnant is recommended by your treatment team....you struggle now......think of how you would struggle with a premie and or stillbirth....you may never forgive yourself...please be carefull
[dragonfly]: i went into menopause in my 30's
[jilly]: did u loose ur period when u had anorexia?
[dragonfly]: i have struggled for like 27 years
[dragonfly]: yes
[gso]: dragon please share more.....it is not a widely publicized fact.....but we think that insufficient calorie intake can pause fertility
[jilly]: see i'm better now-i'm totally at a normal weight and i eat very halthy so i don't know why everyone is making me so scared that i won't be able to get pregnant
[dragonfly]: i have only had it for about total of 2 years my whole life
[jilly]: ur period u have only had for 2 years?
[dragonfly]: a total of 2 years
[jilly]: do u still struggle today?
[dragonfly]: yes
[jilly]: r u underweight or u have the anorexic thoughts but monitor the behavior?
[dragonfly]: i had to take fertility shots for 2 years
[dragonfly]: talk psychosis...take an antidepressant away from an anorexic and shoot her with fertility drugs!!!!
[mimi]: lol
[dragonfly]: :-)
[jilly]: cute!
[gso]: ouch!
[jilly]: i'm so scared right no though
[dragonfly]: sorry...but i had it for a very long time
[mimi]: but tell jilly the outcome
[jilly]: ya what's the outcome
[dragonfly]: i have a beutiful 7 year old boy
[dragonfly]: :-)
[jilly]: u have a healthy child right
[gso]: jilly....you and your team may be able to set a very conservative "hospital weight" at each stage in your pregnancy
[jilly]: that's amazing. Ur right mimi-the outcome is worth it
[dimples]: i had the same problems when i was pregnant too
[jilly]: meaning like gaining 3 pounds/month or something
[gso]: they may be able to watch you closely via blood tests ect so that you are hospitalized at the first sign of anything
[dragonfly]: the funny thing is... never had my period until i was pregnant
[jilly]: dimples-u had difficulties as well?
[dimples]: yes -
[dragonfly]: then had it through almost the whole time
[jilly]: see i never lost mine when i was sick because i stayed on the pill
[jilly]: so that may play to my advantage
[jilly]: realted to an ed ?
[mimi]: dragon - that's so backwards lol
[dragonfly]: when i was pregnant, i was at a healthy weight
[dragonfly]: that's me mimi ;-)
[jilly]: i think i'm at a healthy weight too but everyone has just made me very nervous i guess
[jilly]: and the more nervous i am-the harder getting pregnant will be!
[mimi]: it should be nice to know people are concerned
[jilly]: i think it was a scare tactic to stay healthy!
[dragonfly]: i had to get to a semi healthy place to have the baby
[jilly]: everyone is so enmeshed in my ed it's gross!
[dragonfly]: may work for you too
[jilly]: fine line between support and enabler!
[gso]: it is a scary thing......even after the baby is born it doesn't stop there......you may always struggle with being healthy for your child versus being ed
[dragonfly]: every day
[jilly]: good point.
[dragonfly]: the guilt is tremendous
[gso]: the urge to loose weight after the baby will be huge!
[jilly]: i clearly need to be very comfortable with myself before this next step!
[dragonfly]: definitely
[jilly]: the urge to be skinny before the baby so that the weight will not show that much will be huge too!
[gso]: you will be.....you are giving it some thought
[jilly]: can u work out during a pregnancy?
[dragonfly]: moderately
[gso]: you can but you may not feel like it
[dragonfly]: if you already do
[gso]: you may find yourself exhausted
[jilly]: it's funny because ed's-i think- are very symbolic of childhood-of dependency and of needing people to care for you
[jilly]: at least it was for me-and now here i am mixing the ed with "I'm scared to get pregnant!" and it just seems like it shoukld be 1 or the other
[jilly]: honestly guys-thank-you for this chat tonight-you have opened my eyes and it's nice to know that you guys really get this!
[dragonfly]: we do
[gso]: you all worked very hard for each other tonight....you should all be very proud
[gso]: I want to say that I really enjoy these chats
[dragonfly]: me too
[dragonfly]: thanks everybody
[gso]: the site, however, is very expensive to maintain....so I have to charge a small monthly fee
[jilly]: me too-so much. Everyone is so smart and has such incredible insight'
[jilly]: right- i remember u mentioning that
[jilly]: how will that woe\rk
[gso]: the fee will be $9.95 per month
[mimi]: how will we do it?
[jilly]: any possible way we could pay per chat?
[dragonfly]: when will that be starting?
[jilly]: not that i mind at all paying 10/month-just asking
[gso]: the site takes a charge card or you can send you fee and your screen name to mu office
[mimi]: sounds good
[gso]: well the 9.95 includes having access to the chat room 24-7 and the ability to read all the transcripts
[jilly]: perfect.....i was wondering why there was no fee...it's like free therapy for us for 1 hour!
[gso]: it will start by the 1st of Nov
[gso]: ALSO, the ed chat will be at 10:00
[mimi]: the chat has helped me bacuse sometimes I think it's just me who feels some way and then I find out thats not true
[jilly]: so many changes.....
[gso]: there will be a weight loss chat at 9:00
[jilly]: just kidding. It's so worth it
[gso]: yes...I know.......this site is a professional journey for me as well
[dragonfly]: so we can go to either or both?
[gso]: thanks for being patient with me.....
[mimi]: so binge eaters will be on at 9 pm?
[jilly]: thanks for being patient wiht us
[gso]: well dragon.......that is a good ?
[dragonfly]: :-)
[gso]: I preferr that ed go to the ed chat.......not the weight loss...however
[jilly]: see u at 10 dragon!
[dragonfly]: and 9 ;-)
[gso]: if you have a legitimate weight issue (overweight) you can go to both
[jilly]: longh night for you gso....
[mimi]: but if I just go to losing weight I wont know how everyones doing
[jilly]: ur right mimi..........
[gso]: yes mimi you may be able to do either chat same with bren
[mimi]: thanks
[gso]: binge eaters can do either chat
[dragonfly]: hey
[dragonfly]: i object
[jilly]: i think it's a good idea- the discussions will probably take very different directions
[gso]: well godd night all......I hate to drop this on you at the end of the chat...please e-mail me via the webmail service if you'd like to ask more questions
[mimi]: hey dragonfly, maybe I like being on with everyone because then theres not too much focus on me lol
[gso]: seee you next week
[gso]: please stay and chat
[dragonfly]: lol
[jilly]: thanks gso-good night.
[mimi]: thanks gso
[dragonfly]: thanks gso
[jilly]: guiys-thanks for a great chat. sleep well everyone
[dragonfly]: good night
[jilly]: i can't spell tonight....
[dragonfly]: night jilly
[gso]: thank you all for hanging in there with me while I figure out how best to do this have a great week!!:-)
[mimi]: night everybody and dimples good night
[dragonfly]: night mimi, dimples
[mimi]: night dragonfly and jilly and gso