Why Some Diets Fail: linking unhealthy thoughts to unhealthy eating behavior

June 05, 2006

[gso]: Hello and welcome to the friendly mirrors chat. Glad to see some newcomers.....welcome
[llb]: hello
[sarah_emt]: hi
[gso]: I typically ask if anyone wants to start with a topic, either the lecture posted on the site or one they you pick yourself
[llb]: i don't have anything
[gso]: is there anything anyone would like to start with? do newcomers have any questions?
[gso]: hello DJ, KC, llb, and sarah
[llb]: hello gso
[DJ]: Hello!
[gso]: how are you all tonight?
[llb]: pretty good...thanks
[sarah_emt]: doing ok
[gso]: does anyone know what the posted lecture is?
[DJ]: Still above ground :)
[llb]: something about readiness
[sarah_emt]: is it the one about motivation?
[gso]: OK yes.....thank you
[gso]: does anyone have any progress or good news they would like to share?
[sarah_emt]: I like the part about controlling the impulse to over eat
[System]: arsc_user_enter~~2insane~~Author's Suite
[sarah_emt]: that is something that I have a hard time with
[2insane]: what's the topic tonight
[DJ]: Me too.
[2insane]: sorry i missed last week i was out of town
[gso]: hint......for newcomers.......if you are in the midst of typing an answer and your receive another question (while you are writing your answer to the last question)....send it anyway.......I can catch up
[gso]: hello 2insane how are you tonight?
[gso]: OK readiness......any specific issues about readiness....it is a bit of a broad topic
[2insane]: pretty good
[2insane]: how'sa everyone else?
[2insane]: readiness for?
[gso]: good thanks.........
[llb]: pretty good 2insane...thanks for asking
[2insane]: dj,sara,kc?
[sarah_emt]: good
[DJ]: fine, thanks
[2insane]: everyone have a good week?
[llb]: regarding readiness, i have decided that i'm still not ready
[gso]: the section on readiness from my book discusses how a person may not be ready to enter treatment....they can still make steps toward being ready
[2insane]: like what
[gso]: there are varying degrees of readiness......it is analogous to motivation......even during recovery/weight loss, you are likely to find that your motivation and readiness to take that next step toward health is not a constant
[2insane]: may i ask a personal question?
[gso]: given the stress around us......readiness and motivation waxes and wanes......that is OK
[gso]: doesn't mean you are "falling off the wagon"
[2insane]: what is everyone's eating disorder or do you know?
[sarah_emt]: that makes me feel a lot better that is ok to not be so motivated 100% of the time
[2insane]: i am definitely not motivated at all
[gso]: that is good sarah......maintaining what you have done is progress.....it stops the cycling
[DJ]: How can stress be focused into positive motivation? Is it possible?
[gso]: 2insane are you being pressured to seek treatment?
[2insane]: no
[2insane]: maybe by my self
[2insane]: but no outside forces
[gso]: MMmmmm ......DJ....good question.......are you asking if stress can help motivation?
[gso]: 2insane are there any health consequences to what you are doing ?
[DJ]: How can stress be turned around from a negative to a positive...
[2insane]: obesity
[2insane]: and all the health is i could face
[DJ]: How do I tie stress into a form of motivation?
[System]: arsc_user_enter~~Mimi~~Author's Suite
[llb]: stress for me can be a positive because i eat better and don't focus on the calories as much
[2insane]: hello mimi
[Mimi]: hi everybody
[llb]: hi mimi
[gso]: Well, with so much stress around us, I try to encourage my patients to put themselves in a "win-win" situation.......where either option is not perfect....but desirable......help you not be so rigid in expecting a certain outcome
[gso]: hello mimi
[gso]: sometimes stress elevated endorphins which increase overall metabolism and energy.
[DJ]: Can stress therefore be a motivator and if so, how can I keep it from becoming a negative experience?
[gso]: so it can be good.....but only in short bouts because after a while your body will literally poop out :-)
[Mimi]: I'd like to know that too
[2insane]: i can't find anything that helps me,not even stress
[sarah_emt]: stress makes me over eat
[Mimi]: llb - Want some of my stress? I'd be willing to send it all. lol You'd really be eating well!
[gso]: DJ stress has two parts the first is the proverbial "stress management" techniques.......yoga.....exercise......deep breathing.....all the things you can try and teach yourself to do in the moment the stress erupts
[llb]: thanks, but i have enough of my own stress
[gso]: this attempts to make you feel better immediately...in the moment...
[2insane]: but you must have self discipline
[gso]: the second part of stress is to problem solve......what is the problem......how do I feel about it.......and how can I make a plan to better meet my needs
[gso]: this, I believe , is the more difficult part.....the self analysis
[2insane]: that's a fact
[gso]: all of the yoga in the world will not make an unhealthy relationship trigger get better....
[Mimi]: Maybe when I'm better at describing my feelings I'll be able to problem solve better
[gso]: mimi that is very true...listening to feelings is an important and essential step to problem solving
[2insane]: just to let everyone know i went to my dads this weekend and saw pictures of myself when i was younger and i know for fact i was not fat then
[DJ]: True... Many times my stress comes from over-reacting to a situation. My feelings of being lonely or isolated are stronger when I am stressed and I resort automatically to thinking about food.
[2insane]: not until about 13
[gso]: 2insane....were you told you fat even back then?
[2insane]: yes mam
[2insane]: my whole life
[sarah_emt]: me too, I was told that all the time too
[DJ]: Same here.
[2insane]: are you overweight now Sarah?
[gso]: so you can see where you may have developed low self esteem early on......those few little words....especially when inaccurate.....can do some damage:-(
[sarah_emt]: yes
[2insane]: i have very low self esteem
[sarah_emt]: but I am starting to loose the weight and I am extremely happy for that
[Mimi]: What great news
[DJ]: Food literally became my comforter and soul-mate. At one time I reached 454 lbs at 5'10".
[gso]: you should be very proud sarah
[2insane]: that's wonderful sarah
[sarah_emt]: thanks
[2insane]: how are you going about it? if you don't mind my asking?
[2insane]: where are you now DJ?
[sarah_emt]: Curves gym I can't say enough about, there is so much motivation there
[2insane]: i've considered it
[DJ]: 360 lbs and lowering.
[2insane]: way to go DJ
[Mimi]: I was told I can't do curves until I loose more weight
[sarah_emt]: thats great DJ!
[2insane]: how?
[gso]: DJ that is just fantastic!!!
[2insane]: sorry mimi
[2insane]: where are you at?
[gso]: mimi are you sure about that....I have never heard of such a thing....
[Mimi]: Yes, he told me for me with my medical problems he wants me to loose more before I'd do curves
[2insane]: who told you?
[2insane]: dr?
[gso]: OOOhhh I see....that makes sense now
[gso]: sorry
[Mimi]: But then I'm very unfit
[Mimi]: Others may be much heavier than me and get their doctors ok but he knows I have to start slow
[2insane]: that is what's great about curves
[gso]: mimi they have exercise videos for the heavy set......give me a minute and I will look up the site
[2insane]: you can do 10 minutes if that's all you can do
[Mimi]: This video gso is looking up may be just the thing. I'm housebound a lot.
[DJ]: Mimi - I was there too. I started with stretching therabands for exercise. Now I can walk for 20 minutes every other day.
[Mimi]: What's therabands?
[2insane]: leslie sansone has great walk away the pounds tapes and dvds
[2insane]: you can do it in your house
[2insane]: the 1 mile takes 15 minutes
[DJ]: Developing a habit of being physically active within your personal abilities seems to be important.
[Mimi]: I've never really looked into tapes and dvds
[2insane]: you can go as fast or as slow as you need
[Mimi]: It sounds like a good idea
[2insane]: mimi believe me she is wonderful
[sarah_emt]: the theraband is like a extra large rubber band that gives you tension and resistance
[2insane]: can we start our own support group outside of this chat?
[gso]: try www.collagevideo.com/ they have different exercise videos for people with different ailments....back problems.....overweight
[DJ]: Therabands are large rubber bands of varying elasticity. They are used frequently during physical therapy and they are inexpensive to purchase.
[2insane]: gso, we've been giving her suggestions
[Mimi]: I saw them on tv Didn't know what they were called. I'd be such a klutz they'd probably snap back and hit me lol
[Mimi]: gso Good one
[Mimi]: ones
[2insane]: some of leslies videos use them you tighten to what you can do
[gso]: 2insane, every night at 9:00 pm people can come to this chat room and have a chat......even if there is someone you meet in the chats and want to have a chat at other times...the chat room is always open please use it
[2insane]: that's wonderful
[2insane]: i think i've found my buddies of motivation her
[2insane]: here
[Mimi]: gso while you were gone it sounds like people who have used dvds and tapes have done well with them
[2insane]: i'm really excited now
[2insane]: mimi if you or anyone else wants to we can do it together
[2insane]: figuratively of course
[Mimi]: Then comes in my biggest problem. I never see anything thru. I start good and then give up
[2insane]: i'm the same way
[Mimi]: thanks
[sarah_emt]: the same way here
[2insane]: if we did it together do you think you could stick with it together?
[2insane]: you to sarah
[2insane]: dj?
[sarah_emt]: Mimi maybe you can get the motivation there to stick with the videos or DVDS
[Mimi]: I can't promise because I know how I don't finish things but I'll sure give it a try
[2insane]: until you are able to go out on a nice day
[2insane]: i'll be right here to support you
[Mimi]: Thank you
[2insane]: i am a bit of a nagger though, you'll have to tell me to back off
[gso]: one way to get more consistency in your workouts is to enjoy it!!! think about that for a moment...
[System]: arsc_user_enter~~mslost~~Author's Suite
[2insane]: i think you'd really enjoy leslie
[gso]: I do this myself.......after my third child I decided to start running again........
[gso]: hello mslost how are you tonight?
[2insane]: hi mslost
[DJ]: Exercise is a nice diversion.
[mslost]: uh hello
[mslost]: im okay
[Mimi]: Hi mslost
[mslost]: hi
[2insane]: mimi stay after if you want so we can talk a little more
[gso]: anyway........pushed myself to do 2 miles....although I felt OK during the run....when it came to the next day.....I didn't feel like pushing myself that much....so i didn't do anything....how silly is that?
[2insane]: sarah and anyone else
[Mimi]: It sounds good because the things I love to do to exercise I can't do anymore
[mslost]: aww...
[DJ]: Not silly at all.
[mslost]: yes its not silly
[Mimi]: gso, not silly at all
[2insane]: it's great you can run at all
[2insane]: are you still running?
[gso]: so the moral of that story is to not push yourself to the point that you won't look forward to it the next day.....easier said than done.....but sometimes, when you are having difficulty getting motivated....less is more
[2insane]: definitely
[sarah_emt]: I actually look forward to exercising now
[sarah_emt]: I started off hating going to curves
[Mimi]: I haven't felt that way in a long time
[mslost]: i love to exercise
[2insane]: well we need to feel good about ourselves and be healthy too
[gso]: my schedule makes my exercise less consistent than I'd like......but I rarely push myself after I wrote chapter four about 18 months ago :-)
[gso]: trying to take my own advise
[2insane]: so who's with me, i'm turning 36 next week . any takers
[gso]: got you beat
[gso]: happy birthday!!! enjoy your cake!
[2insane]: that's why you are wiser huh
[DJ]: 47 yo
[sarah_emt]: gso, your book is amazing and you should be very proud!
[2insane]: so let's celebrate my birthday by getting up off our uhhem hinneys
[2insane]: ty gso
[Mimi]: sounds good
[gso]: well sarah thank you.....I keep telling my 8 year old that hard work pays off......I'll share your thoughts with him thanks
[2insane]: sorry gso what's the name of it?
[2insane]: i'll look for it
[DJ]: I gave a copy to my therapist.
[2insane]: that's funny dj
[Mimi]: My therapist likes it
[gso]: Friendly Mirrors and Contented Closets......out of the blue, a few times my husband has asked me (with a straight face of course) if my mirrors are friendly o if my closets are content ...funny man:-)
[DJ]: Now others in the office want one!
[mslost]: he sounds very nice
[sarah_emt]: I passed my copy to my mother and she fell in love with it!
[mslost]: :)
[2insane]: see that's my prob no friendly mirrors
[Mimi]: llb, you there?
[mslost]: same here
[gso]: thank you DJ I truly appreciate all that you and others are doing to spread the word....
[2insane]: and definitely no contented closets
[Mimi]: Me too
[mslost]: yes same here
[2insane]: now i did walk by a mirrored window the other day
[gso]: 2 insane....you may find that your mirrors are just fine......it is what you make yourself see
[llb]: yes. mimi, i'm here
[2insane]: that window made me see a taller thinner me
[Mimi]: Has work been less stressful, hopefully
[gso]: yes llb how are you? stressed? any horror stories about work?
[DJ]: Sure.. and thank you for your time and love put into writing such a manuscript.
[2insane]: it was a beveled window
[llb]: not too many, but it's only monday ;-)
[2insane]: it'll get better friday is only 4 days a way
[Mimi]: 2 insane, I'd better get some of those mirrors for inside my house
[2insane]: yeah i loved it it was outside a cancer center
[gso]: hang in there llb.....hope you can get some energy back to join in sometime in upcoming chats...we'd all love to hear from you.....
[llb]: i'm looking forward to Thursday...going to the city to see a Yankees game
[Mimi]: llb - But hopefully it's better than a couple of weeks ago
[2insane]: who are they playing llb?
[llb]: red sox
[2insane]: have a wonderful time
[2insane]: for all of us
[gso]: llb yankees v red sox.....that will rejuvenate you!!!!
[llb]: and they're kicking butt tonight :-)
[Mimi]: Everybody who lives around me are red sox fans but my husband worked for Yankees and Mets for 28 years so you know who hell be routing for
[gso]: Ok since we are talking about readiness and motivation tonight.......let's do this
[2insane]: oh Mimi i would love to talk Mets w/ ya'll
[2insane]: ok
[mslost]: yes?
[2insane]: i'll motivate mimi
[2insane]: and help her get ready
[Mimi]: do what gso?
[gso]: can everyone briefly tell us about a step they are struggling with and what you may be able to do this week to take a baby step in the right direction......any takers?
[2insane]: exercising
[sarah_emt]: not eat when I am angry, sad or upset
[gso]: remember baby steps
[gso]: 2insane....can you break that down into baby steps
[2insane]: staying away from garbage
[DJ]: Self evaluation and realization
[Mimi]: Being able to describe my feelings
[2insane]: i don't want to self evaluate
[gso]: 2insane.......more specific....what king of exercise and for how long...remember baby steps
[llb]: i'm back on the diet pill, diet pepsi diet...don't know what direction that is
[gso]: dj sounds like chapter five for you!!!
[gso]: llb can you cut back on one of those?
[2insane]: i'm struggling to get off my hinney, but i think if i say i'l do a 15 walk/1 mile
[gso]: good one mimi & sara
[2insane]: 15 min
[mslost]: i talke many many diet pills
[gso]: there we go 2insane that is better
[gso]: what mslost?
[mslost]: *take
[2insane]: but saying and doing are 2 different things
[Mimi]: That's for sure
[mslost]: i take a lot of diet pills
[mslost]: *of
[DJ]: Yes. I am taking a hard look within myself.
[2insane]: i'm afraid to look within myself
[gso]: great work everybody......not sure what to do with the diet pills comments :-(
[2insane]: i'm afraid of what i might see
[DJ]: It's not easy, just necessary.
[2insane]: but how DJ
[Mimi]: Since I've been reading the book I have to and there's so much that applies to me Im finding it hard to evaluate myself too
[2insane]: where can i get your book gso?
[gso]: it is hard work......try not to look at the big picture......don't look at the whole book.....just what you want to learn today.....if you do that you will get there
[gso]: 2insane it is on sale at my website
[2insane]: ok thank you
[Mimi]: That means I'll be on chapter one a loooooong time
[2insane]: sorry thank you
[DJ]: Until you are willing to confront those things within yourself that keep you from being successful, you will never truly feel like you are making long term progress. This is where a good therapist can reaaly help out.
[gso]: have a great night everyone thanks for chatting, feel free to stay and chat good night
[llb]: very true DJ
[2insane]: i'd rather see a hypnotist
[llb]: good night
[mslost]: good night gso
[2insane]: ty gso good night to you
[Mimi]: I haven't been in therapy long but I find I've buried so much it's going to take a long time to get it straightened out
[DJ]: Good night gso and thanks again!
[mslost]: ill probably be back next week
[Mimi]: Night gso thanks
[sarah_emt]: thanks so much gso
[Mimi]: Great mslost
[2insane]: please do mslost
[sarah_emt]: you have really helped me
[mslost]: thank you
[mslost]: i will
[2insane]: this is a great bunch
[Mimi]: 2insane where did you get your dvd?
[llb]: good night everyone...have a good week :-)
[2insane]: actually i have copied a friends dvds
[Mimi]: bye llb see you next Mon
[mslost]: i hope ill have a good week
[2insane]: but i have found some of my own at wlmart and on ebay
[2insane]: i hope you all have good weeks
[Mimi]: Can you give me the name again because I see I can't go back on this page?
[2insane]: unclick autoscroll, it's Leslie Sansone
[DJ]: Good night everyone. May your week be filled with great accomplishments, both great and small.
[2insane]: what's great about her she shows you what she's gonna do
[sarah_emt]: good night DJ! Stay strong!
[2insane]: good night DJ
[2insane]: let a smile be your umbrella
[Mimi]: Night DJ My week will be good if I can do just a little of how good you're doing
[2insane]: and she's not one of those "hyper " chicks either
[sarah_emt]: walking in place to the videos would be a great way to start exercising
[Mimi]: That's good or I wouldn't be able to keep up
[2insane]: yes it would
[DJ]: Mimi - You will and are doing it now! bye bye :)
[2insane]: if you get too tired slow down
[Mimi]: You think their in Wal Mart?
[2insane]: the whole idea w/ her is to get your heart rate up
[2insane]: some are
[mslost]: gso can i stay and talk with you...I have a little problem
[Mimi]: That would mean I'd have to walk around the room lol
[2insane]: no
[2insane]: you only need a little space
[2insane]: you can walk in place
[mslost]: ?
[2insane]: can you shop online?
[Mimi]: mslost I think gso is gone If you need her I think you can go to the friendly mirrors website
[Mimi]: Yes
[2insane]: good
[2insane]: hold on one sec
[mslost]: oh okay thx u
[Mimi]: Just so you know the only site I won't buy from is ebay. I get so much spam from them
[Mimi]: I used to send about 10 spoofs a week back to them
[Mimi]: Then one time I almost went into one by mistake so I don't deal with ebay at all anymore
[2insane]: i don't have any problems w/ them my self
[Mimi]: that's good
[2insane]: ok see if you can find one called get up and get started
[Mimi]: Ok I'll google it
[2insane]: google her name
[Mimi]: Won't my dog be thrilled if I can get going?
[sarah_emt]: maybe you can use your dog as a motivational tool
[2insane]: if you can't find one there is a new dvd called Walk Away the pounds for abs the ultimate in-home walking system
[2insane]: it has get upo on it
[Mimi]: She motivates me when she has to go out
[2insane]: there you go mimi
[sarah_emt]: maybe you can begin to take her for small walks
[2insane]: that would be great for both of you
[sarah_emt]: you don't have to go far, just a little ways each day
[sarah_emt]: baby steps!
[Mimi]: I used to walk her but I have a medical problem that keeps me close to home. We have a big area out back where she and the cat go
[System]: arsc_user_enter~~ms_lost~~Author's Suite
[2insane]: sorry ladies my RLS medicine has kicked in, I gotta go to bed
[2insane]: Mimi try walking her in the yard
[ms_lost]: good night then 2insane
[sarah_emt]: good night
[2insane]: sorry
[ms_lost]: its okay
[ms_lost]: :-)
[2insane]: anyone going to be around tomorrow night
[2insane]: Mimi?
[Mimi]: Ok I'll say goodnight to you and sarah Talk to you next week and I hope I'll have the tape and the rubber band
[ms_lost]: i might be
[2insane]: i still wanna do this, mimi
[ms_lost]: me 2
[2insane]: do you?
[Mimi]: Might be I'll try but someone is coming over Sounds good to me At least its a start
[2insane]: ok mslost
[ms_lost]: okay then ill talk to u then?
[Mimi]: Lets all try for 9 pm OK?
[sarah_emt]: ok
[2insane]: ok what's everyone gonna do for a baby step tomorrow?
[2insane]: sounds good mimi
[Mimi]: Look for the tape and you>?
[2insane]: very good Mimi
[sarah_emt]: resist eating when I am stressed
[ms_lost]: im not ready to talk even a baby step:-(
[Mimi]: Took me a long time to get started
[ms_lost]: yeah...
[2insane]: try not to eat refined sugar sweets
[ms_lost]: i dont
[2insane]: my baby step will be hard
[ms_lost]: ohhh
[ms_lost]: nvm
[ms_lost]: sorry
[2insane]: i love my sweets
[Mimi]: I do But I've got to go dog's got to go bye for tonight everyone
[2insane]: oh heck i love food
[2insane]: good night ya'll
[ms_lost]: well stay strong evryone i g2g
[ms_lost]: good night 2insane
[sarah_emt]: good night everyone, I too have had a long day and need to get going
[sarah_emt]: see you tomorrow
[ms_lost]: yes tomorrow